Metaphortean Field Report #1

En route to Bent Fest in search of metaphortean phenomena, my videocamera became suspected of blobsquatchery. "You have to take the cameras out of the bag" the security guard at the PDX airport told me, "they have lots of components." She then asked to check my bag. Noticing that I had a book on fortean phenomena, she asked "do you like aliens?" I told her that i did like aliens. "I have verifiable proof of UFOs flying over the Pyramids....1983," she excitedly proclaimed. She proceeded to de-blobmatize my videocamera with some strange instrument, then sent me on my way.

First stop Ann Arbor, to probe the suggestive correspondences of Plugfinder's "free energy" claims. Ufologists have proposed that free energy exists, amongst a plethora of fortean affairs, in the hollow of the Earth. Ufologist Theodore Fitch suggests that UFOs emerge not from outer space, but inner Earth. Their hovercraft are powered by innovative use of free-energy sources. This is just one instance of invention by the subterranean super-civilization. Fitch notes ""They say they are thousands of years ahead of us in all of the arts, such as painting, sculpture and architectural designing. Also they are ahead of us in their domestic and business management, in their agricultural techniques, and that their beautiful landscapes, parks, flower gardens, orchards and farms vastly surpass our own." (cited in The Subterranean Origin of the Flying Saucers by Dr. R. W. Bernard, B.A., M.A., Ph.D.)

Whether Plugfinder truly teeters on the edge of ancient mysteries remains to be seen, but this much we know: Ann Arbor promises unities of ambiance, attractive terrain and electroplasmic arrays.